I definitely don't have a problem people tipping based on quality of service, but your comment about tipping well would be like rewarding the restaurant for understaffing is off-base. The restaurant doesn't see that money at all. That money is for the waiter/waitress, who in many restaurants, makes less than minimum wage. The tips are how he/she earns her money. If you didn't feel comfortable living a big tip, then that's fine. But don't give the wait-person a lower tip because the manager didn't have enough staff.

I agree with Beachgirl's comments. If you really want the restaurant to know about the poor service of people other than the server you need to speak to the manager. Generally they will be more than receptive to your suggestions / complaints and usually offer you some kind of compensation for your experience.

Your tip isn't the only way to provide feedback to the restaurant. In fact, it's probably the worst way to show your disproval of the restaurant's practices. The tip only reflects on the waiters' service.

You're right.. tipping isn't a reward for good service, it's expected. A less than 15% tip hurts the servers and busers much more than it sends a message to the management.

If you have a problem with the waitress, tell her why, and give a minimal tip. If the problem is with the management, don't bother punishing the waitress. Talk to the manager.

It's not so hard to "keep up" with what's "expected" if you're in tune with the world. The only friend of mine who was frustrated over the "20% expected tip for service" is the guy who has many other problems dealing with society.

1. Tipping was supposed to be an incentive for better service. Now that tips are expected, I find that I sometimes get lousy service. That's wrong. It's not like restaurants would go out of business if they were honest about true costs. I'd rather pay 15% more in the bill for served food if I knew the waiter was getting a decent salary and benefits. I might also get professional service where waiting tables can be a profession, like in Europe! The current system just lets the owner avoid paying a living wage (and the server likely avoids paying a fair amount of taxes).

The problem with tipping is that I always feel bad if I don't give *more* than the expected amount. So I usually end up tipping around 20-25%. It's crazy!

This is absurd! Tips are how a waiter makes their money. All franchise restaurants pay MUCH LESS than minumum wage($2.13 to be exact). So punishing your server for anyone elses mistakes (i.e., hostess, bartender, cooks) is just being an A**HOLE. Most servers don't even get a paycheck, because after you claim lousy tips from cheapskates like you, the scamming government takes that measly $2.13/ hr for every tax known to man. Servers can barely get health benefits, it's IMPOSSIBLE to get a personal/ car loan, and forget about getting a house, unless you plan on paying cash for it. While some people wait tables for extra cash, some of us do this FOR A LIVING! So next time the host upsets you, the food is not up to par, or you had to wait more than 2 minutes for your beer, don't punish the waiter/ waitress for good service. It's people like you that make our jobs miserable, because no matter what we do, YOU feel like we are responsible for your entire experience, and that couldn't be further from the truth.

Justin, it's not about the restaurant. It's about the waitress. You tip the waitress who made as much as she could to serve you well, not the restaurant. Do you think she even would be there if she couldn't use the money?

Here is the real problem. Tipping used to be 10% today it is 20% or more. The price for a meal is going thru the roof, why should the % of tip increase if the meal price increase'? I paid $6.00 @ the 10% rate for service yesterday and I would wage the waiter spent no more that 7 minutes all told on our table. That calculates out to $51.00 per hour. Hardly a poor broke wage.
I think a flat rate tip should be the new hallmark!

If an employee's tips combined with the employer's direct wages of at least $2.13 an hour do not equal the federal minimum hourly wage, the employer must make up the difference.

This is taken directly from http://www.dol.gov/esa/minwage/q-a.htm
, so yes it IS about the restaurant. Basically, because people tip, they do not have to pay their employees what they are worth .I too was a server, but unlike most servers, I understood that my job was a minimum wage job. If I did a great job, or if I was lucky, I could make more. I considered anything over minimum wage to be a gift. I didn’t expect it.

Knowing this, I am a NON tipper (that’s right) if my service is below acceptable. I don’t feel bad about it either. The reason service has gone down hill over the years is because people expect something for nothing. It used to be ones JOB to give GREAT service. Now we reward if someone can keep a water glass full?

If you have a family to feed and a car note to pay and minimum wage doesn’t cute it, then I suggest you get a real job and stop complaining because your EMPLOYER isn’t paying you well.

I'm a 40 year old server who's been in the business for over 20 years. I am every bit a professional, and I take my job very seriously. I've done everything in a restaurant except cook, including washing the dishes and making martinis. I have learned so much from the restaurant business that has helped me in my life's endeavors, and I can't imagine having taken a different path.

I never cease to be amazed by the sense of entitlement that some people have when it comes to the service industry...Yes, it's called the SERVICE industry, yes, we are SERVERS and yes, we are well aware of that fact. But we are servers, not SLAVES. The majority of us do not receive any type of benefits, either health care, vacation time or sick leave; in all but a few states, we earn much less than the minimum wage; the majority of us do not have access to unions that protect the rights of workers. And yet, the tourism and service industries continue to grow, and oftentimes they represent a large part of local economies.

People work in this industry for many different reasons, often to put themselves through school, feed their children or subsidize other low-paying jobs. Many of us are lifelong professionals who excel at our craft and enjoy what we do. We are part of the backbone that is blue collar, working America. If it weren't for us, others would have to cook their own meals, make their own drinks and wash their own dishes every meal, every day. Still, we are disrespected, treated as less-than and continually asked "When are you going to get a real job?"

My waiting job IS a real job. It's respectable, hard work.

I don't walk into other people's offices and question the way they do their jobs; I don't sit and watch them and critique their expertise when I know nothing about what they do. And I don't joke about cutting their pay or threatening their earnings -- it's not my place. If I'm that dissatisfied, I speak with a manager. Yet, others feel completely within their rights to do this to us. People feel that because they eat out, they are experts about the service industry and how we should do our jobs.

Those of us who work in the business have a saying -- "If you can't afford to tip, then you can't afford to go out."

Pack a sandwich for the office, or cook dinner at home. But don't come to our places of business, where we work to pay our bills, and grumble about paying us for our services. We earn every bit of what we make.

We have another saying -- "Everyone should have to work in a restaurant or the service industry at least once, to be humbled."

I choose to remain in the business because I enjoy the camaraderie, the flexible schedule, the physical nature of the job and working with good food and wine. I don't, however, enjoy waiting on people who presume that they are somehow better than me, more educated or more deserving because I work in a restaurant and they don't.

The fact is, most servers get $0.00 paychecks, because our wages are all taken for taxes. A tip of 20% has been the standard in metropolitan areas for years, and 18% is the national average tip, including for large parties. We pay taxes on all of our sales, so when people tip poorly, or not at all, guess what? We still pay taxes on money we never receive. Who else would tolerate that?

Yes, we do understand that our jobs are to serve, but we command the same respect that we give others in their professions.

I won't speak to the subject of tipping practices across the board, other than to say this -- Think about where we'd all be without the people who work in physically demanding, often unglamorous blue collar jobs so that we can live better. When we step outside of ourselves and actually notice people doing work that we wouldn't want to do, we can begin to appreciate them more.

I have a Bachelor's degree, which I paid for in large part by waiting tables. I now own my own political consulting business, I am a freelance writer and I volunteer in my community.

I choose to continue waiting tables. It keeps me humble and honest. I remember where I come from. And I never take servers for granted or grumble about the tip, because I know what it takes to show up and serve others every day.

Tipping the server well despite poor service because they are understaffed is illogical. If the server has twice as many customers as he/she can handle (so service is poor), but tipping is unaffected, the server would PREFER this scenario because more tables = more money, no? Without having to work harder (because now we blame the management for his/her situation). Craziness. The server is who takes your order, brings you food, takes your money.

If a restaurant is clearly understaffed, why would it be the customers job to tell management? I mean, the server is there, probably with other servers, witnessing day-in day-out the customer being poorly served (be the restaurant, on the whole). So - punish the server for not taking any initiative to correct the situation (being lazy). Or punish the server for taking initiative but failing to correct the situation (being defeated). Or taking full-size tips but only delivering a mediocre experience (even if it isn't the server's fault - server is being greedy). Or staying in such a crappy establishment which is poorly managed and treats customers and employees with little respect (being an idiot).

Tipping IS out of control. Repeatedly under-tipping or not tipping can earn you someone's spit in your food - or worse. I'm an engineer. I get a salary. If I feel I'm not getting paid enough should I do a poor job designing safety features in the car you drive to work? If I'm being underpaid, I go into a different profession or force change where I am.

Servers need to stop playing the victim during these debates. You obviously prefer this system over a higher salary without tipping for a reason - its because you can play on misunderstanding and guilt to make more money this way than on a salary. I agree with "the restaurant should pay the server". Tips are for 7 year olds delivering newspaper through 3 foot snow drifts, not servers delivering a piece of paper from your table to a kitchen and coming back with a plate without managing to screw it up.

Tipping is out of control in the USA. where I come from tipping is optional, I do it when I get great service.

Serving tables is like any other proffession and should be rewarded by the employer. I visited the States and was shocked at how many places people were expecting to get a tip. The taxi driver, the hot dog stand, and many others I can't remember. it was annoying. I would've honestly prefer to be charged a bit more, and be free of this kind of thing

I have absolutely no qualms in giving generous tips if the service provided to me was really as expected. But, as with the restaurant experience that you had, I guess most of us have experienced it at one time or another. And it really is a dilemma whether to let the establishment know that they should not understaff at the expense of the waiter receiving less tips.