Marriage and Finances

Filed in archive Marriage and Finance on February 6, 2006

There are two things when it comes to marriage one must consider in the financial arena. One is the way men and women view the current state of their assets and the communication factor.

In a separate study done by Zagorsky of OSU it was found that women argue with their husbands about money more than any other topic. This includes things such as in-laws, drinking, chores, and even other women. These may surprise some of you but that has been known to be true for years.

Now what is interesting and new, at least to me, is the reason found on why. That reason is that men and women have strong differences in their perception of wealth.

Here is how it is reported:

"If they have a house and car, for example, the man will tend to focus on the hard assets (what they own), and the woman, on the mortgage and car loan (what they owe). Men typically value the assets higher than women; wives tend to estimate the debts as larger. The researchers were unable to conduct forensic accounting to see who was more accurate in reporting -- but the perception differences were real.

For instance, the typical husband says the couple earns 5 percent more income and has 10 percent more total wealth than his wife reports. Meanwhile, she says the family's debts are $500 more than her husband reports.

Among older couples surveyed, half differed in their wealth estimates by more than $14,700 -- and 10 percent different by a shocking $113,000. Among younger couples, half differed in their wealth estimates by $7,000, 10 percent differed by more than $31,000.

The differences could not be attributed to the dated notion that wives were kept in the dark about family finances. Husbands paid the bills in their families only about 40 percent of the time; wives, 60 percent.

Perhaps the most important finding: Couples who didn't divorce were more in accord on their estimates than couples who divorced. In other words, they knew how to communicate."

So if you want to enjoy the financial benefits of marriage, sit down and completely open up the books and discuss everything about them.

Here are a few tips that are offered:

• List all of your accounts and look at your combined asset allocation to ensure you're not overexposed in one area -especially if you work for the same employer and hold company stock in your 401(k).
• Come clean about your debts. Once you're wed, you're both legally responsible for them, so decide upfront who will pay them off and on what timetable.
• A clash of money personalities -- a spender and a saver, for instance -- should be worked out sooner to avoid conflicts later. The spender should try operating on a weekly allowance. To avoid making this partner feel like they're in third grade, he or she should be able to spend the money on whatever they want. But when it's gone, it's gone.
• Once you're legal partners, get new beneficiary-designation forms for all your accounts. Consider life insurance if you have large debts or a sizeable mortgage; buy it as soon as you're expecting children.
• Open a joint checking account to pay the big household bills (contribute the same amount or percentage of income), and keep individual accounts for personal spending. Talk about how much is O.K. to spend without consulting your partner.

Make sure these are steps you take if you are about to enter into a marital relationship. Even if you are married and haven't been in harmony with these things, take a look and be willing to compromise and adjust in the areas you need to, and you should have a very prosperous financial marriage and life.