I'm So Jealous of My Gay Neighbors
Filed in archive General on October 8, 2007
I love my gay neighbors. But I'm very jealous of them.
Like last night. It was Sunday, right? They had a big party. We weren't invited, but we wouldn't have gone anyway because our kids had school today. Point is, they can have parties on Sunday night.
My gay neighbors just got back from vacation. Drove down their driveway in their BMW, returning from Africa. Yeah, Africa. Not only that, it was at least their third vacation this year, although a couple of those might have just been long weekends. All I know is, they're always flying off somewhere.
Their other car is some kind of limited edition SUV; I can't remember what. But costly no doubt.
One of the pleasures of being gay, it appears, is the pleasure of having two incomes and no kids. You've got time and money coming out the yinyang.
Don't get me wrong. I love my kids. They're a lot of fun a lot of the time (the rest of the time let's not talk about). But they cost a lot of money. I'm sure when I'm old and dying and at least one of them faithfully sits by my bedside holding my hand, the $300,000 or so it cost to bring them all up will look like a worthy investment.
But when they're yapping in my ear non-stop about some inflatable toy they want because the toy they got last week is old and boring and I glance out the window to see my gay neighbors sipping highballs while relaxing on their Adirondack chairs on their front lawn, I am so, so jealous.
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Response from:
rstlne
(10/08/07 5:07pm)
Of course, they could also be living the high life on credit. Things are not always as they appear on the surface.
Response from:
hejustlaughs
(10/09/07 2:16am)
At least you're not jealous of the bigotry they've probably experienced most of their "gay" life.
You don't have to be gay to not have kids you know.
Seems to me they're just like most people nowadays. Except they're keeping up with Mr. and Mr. Jones.
You don't have to be gay to not have kids you know.
Seems to me they're just like most people nowadays. Except they're keeping up with Mr. and Mr. Jones.
Response from:
Justin McHenry
(10/09/07 8:30am)
hejustlaughs,
Of course you don't have to be gay to not have kids, just as some gay people are adopting kids these days. But the fact is most married couples will have kids, most gay people do not, and this means that gay couples that stay together for the long haul usually have two incomes, which results in a lot of disposable income. Anyway, I was talking about MY neighbors, and MY neighbors finances, not you or your neighbors or discrimination against gay people (I think that's been written about plenty elsewhere). I don't think my neighbors are living on credit or keeping up with anyone; I think they just have a lot of money the bastards.
Of course you don't have to be gay to not have kids, just as some gay people are adopting kids these days. But the fact is most married couples will have kids, most gay people do not, and this means that gay couples that stay together for the long haul usually have two incomes, which results in a lot of disposable income. Anyway, I was talking about MY neighbors, and MY neighbors finances, not you or your neighbors or discrimination against gay people (I think that's been written about plenty elsewhere). I don't think my neighbors are living on credit or keeping up with anyone; I think they just have a lot of money the bastards.
Response from:
David Dodson
(10/09/07 8:52pm)
Just remember this was satire folks. I can see some bad reactions coming up and I just want to point that out. Of course those of us who have been bashed, denied visiting rights, shunted from the grief process (personal experience) may take exception with the fluffiness of this piece but it was intended as humor...
Dave Dodson
Pahoa
Dave Dodson
Pahoa
Response from:
Bill
(10/10/07 2:57am)
I understand what you are saying about how great being gay is... in terms of being able to travel, etc. But everything balances out.
For example, I can't marry my partner of 32 years. I've been gay bashed 3 times in my life. The third and final time left me in a coma for three weeks and I almost died. To this day, I will not go out alone ANYWHERE at night by myself. And this attack happened 25 years ago. My family has disowned me. My partner's family, while they talk to us, don't see us as a family. Oh, and my family who disowned me has made it clear that if I die first, they plan to challenge my will and claim half my estate because we aren't "married." And when I (or my partner) dies, whoever is left will be left with a 45% federal estate tax because we are unable to pass our estate to each other because we aren't seen as legal spouses. 45%!
Do things still look rosy for gay couples? Would you trade places with them if you could? Think about it.
For example, I can't marry my partner of 32 years. I've been gay bashed 3 times in my life. The third and final time left me in a coma for three weeks and I almost died. To this day, I will not go out alone ANYWHERE at night by myself. And this attack happened 25 years ago. My family has disowned me. My partner's family, while they talk to us, don't see us as a family. Oh, and my family who disowned me has made it clear that if I die first, they plan to challenge my will and claim half my estate because we aren't "married." And when I (or my partner) dies, whoever is left will be left with a 45% federal estate tax because we are unable to pass our estate to each other because we aren't seen as legal spouses. 45%!
Do things still look rosy for gay couples? Would you trade places with them if you could? Think about it.
Response from:
Justin McHenry
(10/10/07 4:10pm)
David, Bill,
First off, the post was NOT satire. I really do envy my neighbors' time and money, and a big part of the reason they have those two things is because they are gay and childless.
Second, I hope that no one thinks my post somehow diminishes the hard road that many (most?) gay people have in our society. I focused on one aspect, as this is a blog about finance, not about gay issues.
I imagine it's very difficult to be gay in our society, although it's easier in some places than others (I happen to live in a fairly gay-friendly city). On the other hand, as a heterosexual with two kids who feels like he's running from morning until night and can't ever go out for a night of fun without lining up a babysitter far in advance, I see a couple places where I'm jealous of my seemingly care-free neighbors (at least carefree in terms of money/time).
Does it automatically have to be a joke if a hetero man envies something a gay person has?
First off, the post was NOT satire. I really do envy my neighbors' time and money, and a big part of the reason they have those two things is because they are gay and childless.
Second, I hope that no one thinks my post somehow diminishes the hard road that many (most?) gay people have in our society. I focused on one aspect, as this is a blog about finance, not about gay issues.
I imagine it's very difficult to be gay in our society, although it's easier in some places than others (I happen to live in a fairly gay-friendly city). On the other hand, as a heterosexual with two kids who feels like he's running from morning until night and can't ever go out for a night of fun without lining up a babysitter far in advance, I see a couple places where I'm jealous of my seemingly care-free neighbors (at least carefree in terms of money/time).
Does it automatically have to be a joke if a hetero man envies something a gay person has?
Response from:
ziddy mnaro
(11/09/07 5:12am)
im am a student of 18 years old,im so jealous of my friend whom is studing at taylors university in malysia.im in need to of getting education but i could'nt get a to continuoe with my studies but parents did'nt have tha abilty for me to contioue with my studies so please can help though i could get a chance to continuoe with my studies.
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