Choose: Big Wedding or Down Payment?
Filed in archive Marriage and Finance on July 26, 2007
I was reading this very good column by Laura Rowley today about the craziness of weddings and how over-the-top expensive they can be, when I remembered two couples I've known whose parents gave them the choice between a big traditional wedding and a down payment on a house.
Which would you choose?
It's a tough choice, especially if you're talking about the cost of a wedding being $10,000 or $15,000 or even more. Depending on where you live and how much money you have going in to a marriage, that could be a sizable down payment, and an awesome start on your new life together. On the other hand, your wedding day happen only once (at least that's the goal), and forgoing the big reception and bigger memories in favor of cold hard cash could leave you with regrets in the years to come.
Conveniently for this post, my two sets of friends chose differently-one chose the wedding over the house and one the house over the wedding. I've asked the ones who went for the wedding if they have any regrets and of course they say "No way!" But I've never had the courage to ask the ones who went for the down payment if they ever regret it. That seems rude, because it's likely to make them feel there's a judgment in the question, which I'm sure is how I would take it if I were them. So, I don't know what they think of their decision.
What would you do? Or, if you actually did have this decision to make, what did you do?

Permalink: Choose: Big Wedding or Down Payment?
Tags: weddings finance wedding 2007 down down+payment wedding+down personal+finance
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Rating: 6.00 out of 3 vote(s) cast.
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Response from:
Kitty
(07/26/07 7:29pm)
I've been married twice. Also I have been divorced twice but I swear I'm not cynical. I would take the downpayment. Both weddings were very small - the "biggest" was the second one and it cost $3000 total including dress and reception and flowers and venue. Except for the groom it was perfect. I never believed in spending on a wedding so when it came time I didn't spend more than absolutely necessary.
Response from:
Zachary
(07/26/07 11:08pm)
Elope and save the 10K. (Do as I say, not as I did!)
Response from:
Sabrina
(02/08/08 2:16pm)
My husband and I faced this decision ten years ago, we chose the wedding. We regret that decision now because we had no say over anything to do with the wedding (it was too over-the-top for us and cost over $10,000). 10 years later and we're STILL trying to save up for a house. I sometime regret that didn't wait to have kids until after buying a house, but I wouldn't change that part for anything in the world.
Response from:
Hilkka
(03/05/09 3:18am)
My husband and I are actually facing this issue. We had a very VERY small wedding with almost no family (not even my mom) and we were offered $4000 for a reception or for a house down payment. Although we are already married and have been for two years it is a hard choice because every girls wants her mom there for her wedding. However, every couple dreams about buying their first home and watching their children (we have a daughter) grow up there and create their memories.
Response from:
tower defense
(05/05/09 4:08am)
Both weddings were very small - the "biggest" was the second one and it cost $3000 total including dress and reception and flowers and venue.
Response from:
Laura
(06/30/09 12:53pm)
I was given this choice by my parents. I choose the downpayment on the house. I haven't ever regretted it, especially since it ended up not working out with the guy. If I ever do find someone else, I would rather have a small day with family and a house than a big lavish wedding with no home to go to after.
Response from:
Sue
(08/02/09 6:54am)
Did you get the favors yet? I would recommend getting from here
Great selection and Prices. Hope your wedding is filled with fun and joy.
http://www.lolasbigday.com
Great selection and Prices. Hope your wedding is filled with fun and joy.
http://www.lolasbigday.com
Response from:
Erin
(01/08/10 10:13am)
Now there is a way to have it all! Or at least a little bit of both - by using Hatch My House as your wedding registry!
An interactive gift registry, Hatch My House (HMH) (http://www.hatchmyhouse.com),
allows couples and individuals to collect and save money towards a home in a unique and personal way. Using the graphic image of a house, visitors donate towards their family member’s or friend’s house fund by purchasing a part of that house such as a window, the front door or even a set of wineglasses! Visitors get to have fun while donating and users get to design, visualize - and hopefully realize - their ‘dream’ home!
Once the gifts are made, the gift funds are immediately transferred directly to the user's PayPal account (they must sign up for a FDIC-insured PayPal account prior to receiving gifts) at which time they can choose what bank account to deposit them to!
It's a great option for young couples looking to save for a home! :)
An interactive gift registry, Hatch My House (HMH) (http://www.hatchmyhouse.com),
allows couples and individuals to collect and save money towards a home in a unique and personal way. Using the graphic image of a house, visitors donate towards their family member’s or friend’s house fund by purchasing a part of that house such as a window, the front door or even a set of wineglasses! Visitors get to have fun while donating and users get to design, visualize - and hopefully realize - their ‘dream’ home!
Once the gifts are made, the gift funds are immediately transferred directly to the user's PayPal account (they must sign up for a FDIC-insured PayPal account prior to receiving gifts) at which time they can choose what bank account to deposit them to!
It's a great option for young couples looking to save for a home! :)
Response from:
Erin
(01/08/10 12:41pm)
Correction:
PayPal is NOT FDIC-insured. However, the bank in which PayPal stores their client's funds are FDIC insured.
Thanks!
PayPal is NOT FDIC-insured. However, the bank in which PayPal stores their client's funds are FDIC insured.
Thanks!
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