For the past two weeks I have been so totally engrossed in this new book.

Did you know the IRS ruled that a U.S. citizen living in England since the age of 9, who subsequently married an Englishwoman, could not claim their son, who was born in England, as a dependent? That's because the foreign-born child of a U.S. citizen and a nonresident alien is not a citizen or resident of the United States unless the American parent lived in the United States for 10 years before the child's birth. And, at least 5 of those 10 years must have been subsequent to age 14.

This is just one tiny example of the wonders to be unearthed in the U.S. tax code. Having recently had The 2007 Ernst & Young Tax Guide 2007, a 600-page tome full of beauties like that, delivered to my door, I feel prepared to deal with anything the IRS can hit me with.

Sure, it's a little sickening that it takes over 600 pages to describe the tax implications of every possible move you might make in your life, but that's not Ernst & Young's fault. If you have a problem with that, call your Congressperson. He or she is likely to get on it right away.

Point is, if you are brave (stupid) enough to do your taxes yourself, you can't trust the IRS, the people who actually collect the taxes, to make it clear exactly how to fill out their forms. And, heavens to Betsy, don't you make the mistake of calling those IRS phone assisters. Their success rate at answering your questions is like 17%, and they still get paid, even if you get tossed into the big house for tax evasion.

So you're going to need some help, and you might as well go with Ernst & Young's advice. They've been wasting their lives poring over the tax code for years and years so you don't have to. You only have to pore over their 600-page book, which is about 1% as long as the actual tax code.

Enjoy.